Life Advice

The Perils Of Getting Lucky

Jan 26th, 2012

I had a conversation about luck awhile ago with a mentor. One point he said stuck with me. He said he didn’t believe in luck. At first, I thought this was a little strange. I mean, everyone gets lucky at some point. Maybe you found a $20 bill on the sidewalk? Or you won the lottery. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Then, I started thinking about it. Most of the lucky scenarios I thought about weren’t one-in-a-million things, like winning the lottery. That’s just chalked up to chance and probabilities. Instead, most of these scenarios, that I perceived as lucky, were really career and life achievements. They were things like landing my current job (which I love), getting an unexpected huge spike of traffic on one of my blog posts here, or even just having the guts to try something new and realized I succeeded.

That’s not luck. That’s hard work and pure sweat equity. I’ve probably been selling myself short a lot. Especially lately. How did I come to this conclusion recently? It’s because I’m notoriously known for being my own worst critic. If I don’t feel like I’m living up to my high expectations for myself- especially if someone else notices- I take it really hard. And probably not for the best, very personally.

Maybe instead of being so quick to chalk up my “big wins” to some element of luck, I should think about all that it took to achieve this milestone. It takes skills, knowing the “right people” and being at the right place at the right time. All of these factors matter a lot more.

Pepper Spray, Gun Fights and Waffle Riots: Is Black Friday Worth It?

Nov 26th, 2011

by admin.

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*Confession: I’ve only gotten up at a ridiculous hour on Black Friday once. I was 9, and I had to have a Furby. Needless to say, I got my Furby, and by the end of the day it wouldn’t shut up and it spent the rest of its life in the back of my closet. Worst purchasing decision ever. *

Now to say the least, I really don’t understand people’s fascination with Black Friday. At its most extreme, some people camp out for days, well before Thanksgiving, just to save a few bucks on some loss-leader gadgets. Others amp themselves up on coffee, soda and energy drinks to wait in line at midnight, 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.

What ensues on Black Friday is always turmoil, chaos and yes likely a few hospital visits. Guess what? Every year I lose more and more faith in humanity as I read the news stories (and this year, Twitter) about all the crazy, vicious and sometimes downright violent stuff people pull to get the “best doorbuster deals.” Here’s some of the worst offenses this year.

Walmart Gun Fights

From California to Florida, there were at least a dozen stories about fights breaking out in Walmart or in the parking lot line late last night and early this morning. Some even ended in armed robberies, like this one in a Northern California Walmart parking lot.

Pepper Spray Aficionado

Now, pepper spray may be warranted if you are fending off a legit attacker or (depending on your side) maybe even if you are UC Davis police officer spraying non-violent occupy protesters. But, a female shopper pepper spraying a horde of her fellow Black Friday shoppers to get the best deals on Xbox games at a LA Walmart definitely crosses this line.

Who Knew Waffle Makers Were So Popular?

Now, I like waffles as much as the next person. But, I’ve never had a burning desire to own a waffle maker at home. Nor, even the slightest need for one. According to a Mashable article, this wasn’t the case in an Arkansas Walmart. There was literally a stampede over $2 waffle makers.

While a stampede over waffle makers may be a tiny bit comical, it’s kind of upsetting (and downright pathetic) when you realize all this Black Friday chaos was caused by grownups. Many of them even have kids of their own. And there they were pushing and shoving, getting into fist fights/screaming matches and even pulling out guns and pepper spray. This is all to save a few bucks. Ask yourself this. Is Black Friday really worth it?

Reflections On Life After College: 2 Years Later

Nov 17th, 2011

by admin.

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As the two year anniversary of my college graduation swiftly approaches, I find myself reflecting back on all the things that have happened to me in the past two years.

Started using Twitter my last semester of college. Graduated college. Moved into my first apartment without a roommate. Got a part time job at a TV station while job searching and figuring out what I wanted to do. In the crazy process, started this blog. Moved to a tiny beach town in Georgia, knowing absolutely no one, for my first real grown-up job. Learned a ton. Got laid off. Moved to NYC nine months ago. (Best decision ever). Landed my second (and current) job, which is a near-dream job for me. And learning more everyday than I ever thought possible from people, way smarter than me.

Yeah, to say, the last two years have been “an emotional rollercoaster” full of serious ups and downs would be the understatement of the century. While I’ve definitely made my fair share of mistakes, I can honestly say I’ve learned more in the past two years than any other time in my life. It’s the first time I’ve truly been on my own.

And, it’s been the most exhilarating, exciting and at times scary time of my life, thus far. The biggest lesson I learned is that life isn’t just like college, high school or grade school. It’s not full of exams, five page essays, and homework assignments. There’s no A or F, pass or fail system. You don’t have a teacher to tell you what to do. Or a textbook to tell you the exact solution for every problem.

Instead (as it should be), life is full of twist and turns. . . backroads, tunnels and highways. I discovered that my world is wide open. I’m the only one, who can determine my path, and ultimately what’s best for me.

While I’m truly blessed to have some of the most supportive friends, family and mentors, who aren’t afraid to be completely honest with me, I’ve learned that my “support network” can only help me so much. They can listen to me and give me their advice. But, I’m the one, who ultimately has to make decisions and determine what is going to be the right path for me. That’s been the hardest thing for me to grasp.

I honestly can’t wait to see what the next two years and beyond hold for me. If it’s anything like the past two years, it’s sure to be one hell of a ride. I’m going to try and embrace every second of it.

Whether you graduated in 1970 or a new grad, what’s the biggest lesson you have learned since graduating college? Please share in the comment section below.

The Dangers Of The “Good-Enough Culture”

Jul 6th, 2011

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I have a confession. I’m 100% obsessed with the show, America’s Got Talent. Yes, I admit it. I have been watching this show, almost religiously since the first season. It’s not just because I’m a big fan of Nick Cannon. It’s the fact that this show is different than other reality shows- like (cough, cough) American Idol. Yes, while there are joke acts and people just auditioning to get their 2 minutes of fame, the show at it’s core highlights real talent and more importantly, PASSION.

Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve blogged about PASSION. I even have an ongoing guest post series about following your passion. (Note: Shoot me an email if you want to be featured in my series!) That being said, I truly believe passion is the single biggest thing that separates “the good-enough” from the exceptional.

On America’s Got Talent, the best acts from the beginning auditions to Vegas Week to the finale, are all from the people, who are clearly 150% passionate about what they are doing. I’m not talking about the folks, who are wishy and washy and try out just for the sake of it. I’m talking about the people, such as Elew and Michael Grimm, who make sacrifices every single day and live and breathe their talent day in and day out. For all it’s worth. Yet, they remain 100% grounded and humble. There is something to be said and commended about that.

Yes, passion is about following your dreams. But, success usually won’t come to the cocky ones, who think they are hot stuff. It comes to the ones, who quietly practice day in and day out, and don’t realize just how good they have become. That’s a lesson that every professional- especially marketing, PR and journalism folks- should take to heart.

It’s not about flaunting your talents or professional skills or trying to outshine colleagues just because you can, it’s about honing your skill(s) every day simply because you don’t want to settle for “good enough.” Do you want to be “good enough” or do you want to be exceptional? The choice is yours.

We Are Human

Apr 20th, 2011

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There are moments in our lives that will ultimately change us forever. Exactly 12 years ago to this day, I had one of those moments.

On April 20 1999, I vividly remember being horrified, confused and absolutely terrified as I watched the news about the Columbine High School shootings. As a 5th grader at the time, I never could imagine there were people out there, who would ruthlessly walk into a school and just start killing their fellow classmates. I couldn’t fathom what would possess somebody to do something so heinous to the people that they saw everyday in their classes.

Fast forward eight years, it tragically happened again. This time on a larger scale at Virginia Tech, and just four days before the somber anniversary of the Columbine shootings.

This post- and video (see below)- are meant to remind everyone- that despite our differences, we are all human. There is no reason to bully, fight or God forbid kill people just because they are different and/or have bullied you in the past.

There is no reason, for instance, why two high school misfits should terrorize a school- and an entire nation- with a deadly shooting rampage. Or, why we pick on people either in the office or out in about at events. There’s no excuse and it’s a pure tragedy. As a country, we pride ourselves on having all these freedoms, such as being independent and having the freedom of speech. But yet, we pick on anyone, who is a bit different and dares to go against traditional U.S. norms. There’s no excuse for it and it’s downright wrong and unfair.

Unfortunately, it usually takes a tragedy, like the Virginia Tech and Columbine shootings, to make people wake up and realize the errs of our ways.

Besides, I guarantee everyone of us has flaws! We are all unique and different. It’s those unique characteristics that make us HUMAN. We need to step up and embrace our uniqueness. Own up to your strengths and your flaws both in person and online.

Why don’t you focus on the small gestures that make day to day life more enjoyable for all. A pat on the back, a smile, a free hug, or an unexpected compliment at work are all simple gestures that make each and everyone of our days just a bit brighter.

I urge everyone to stop hating. Go ahead and spread those simple gestures at home, at work and while out in about! Who’s with me?

*Sidenote: This is a more personal post than what I normally write about. But, it’s something that I’m really passionate about.

Is Fear Holding You Back?

Jan 16th, 2011

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“What don’t kill me . . . Can only make me stronger.”

–Kanye West

The fear of the unknown. It’s a real fear that hinders so many people from reaching their true potential. Myself included. The what ifs and fear of failure often times keep us from pursuing our biggest dreams and ambitions.

What if I fail miserably at my dream?
What if I run out of ways to get my idea off the ground?
What if I have to move back home with my parents because things didn’t work out?

The what ifs can be paralyzing, but in the grand scheme of things how bad are all the what-ifs really? People bounce back from failure every day. It’s called being resilient.

The next time fear paralyzes you from doing something. Ask yourself this. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? Chances are the consequences won’t be as devastating as you thought they would be.

After all, as Kanye West says, the things that don’t kill us can only make us stronger.

What We Can Learn From TCU’s Rose Bowl Victory

Jan 2nd, 2011

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Photo Credit: Paul Moseley | MCT

It’s obvious that TCU had a lot more to prove going into the Rose Bowl game against Wisconsin. It pits a Big Ten dominant team against an undefeated and underrated non-BCS team.

Before the game, TCU’s football team made it very clear that they were playing for all the little guys in college football. They weren’t just playing for themselves, but for all the non-BCS teams. They wanted to prove that a non-BCS team could play and win against the traditional football powerhouses.

TCU could have been bitter and resentful for being passed over for the National Championship game. But to their credit, TCU stayed classy, graciously accepted the Rose Bowl bid, practiced hard and came to play on game day. They came out on top.

It’s a reminder that life isn’t always fair. Things aren’t always going to go your way. But, with class and lots of hard work, that’s how you will get ahead in the world.

In sports, work and life, how many times do we discount or belittle the underdogs. In the case of TCU, we think that they are undefeated because they played weaker teams and got lucky. We don’t factor in the hard work and dedication it took to get to where they are at. It’s an unfair conclusion. But guess what, life is unfair. Deal with it.

TCU didn’t win that game because they complained and lingered on the unfair situation. They won because they practiced hard and proved they were better than Wisconsin.

It’s the same thing at work. The successful entrepreneur or star employee didn’t get where they are at today, because they whined and complained. They found a way to persevere and conquer all of life’s curveballs and challenges.

That’s the true secret to success. It’s all about how you deal with adversity.

Do you work hard and come to play hard every single day, like TCU? Or, do you complain, say it’s unfair and give up? It’s your decision.

What Young Professionals Can Learn From The Blind Side

Dec 29th, 2010

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“Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you’re doing something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that’s the real reason for you either do something or you don’t. It’s who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important, then you have both honor and courage, and that’s pretty good.” -Michael Oher in The Blind Side

I was watching The Blind Side for what seems like the millionth time last night. For me, the biggest takeaway has to do with honor.

Honor is what defines you personally and professionally. It’s not only about who you are now, it’s also about what you are doing and what you want to achieve in the future.

Going into the New Year, it’s time to evaluate the choices and decisions you have made this year. Ask yourself these questions.

What do you really want to achieve at your current job?
Are you putting forth the maximum effort to try and achieve your goals?
Are you just following the chain of commands and doing things without thinking?
Are you doing everything your boss and coworkers ask without questioning what you are doing?
Are you checking out of tasks altogether?

Often times, we get so focused on going about our daily business that we lose track of our ambitions and goals for the future. We become blinded by our routine. We forget all the courage and honor it took to get to that point where we are at.

When we feel like we are losing that drive, we need to take a second to regroup and refocus on how we got to the point that we are out and what we need to do to get to the point that we want to be at.

Make sure that whatever you are trying to achieve is of diehard importance to you. As Big Mike says, it takes a lot of honor as well as some courage to achieve your goals.

Many times, we demonstrate our honor in the workplace by picking our battles wisely. If you fight against every little thing, you will quickly become jaded and lose track of your goals. So choose wisely and be honorable and you will eventually come out on top.

What goals and ambitions will you be fighting for 2011? What will motivate you next year?

22 Things You Didn’t Know About Me. Until Now

Dec 15th, 2010

by admin.

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1. I may be borderline obsessed with the sitcom, Scrubs. I absolutely love that no matter what time of day it is, I can always find a Scrubs rerun on TV. In case you are wondering, I’m probably 85% Elliott with a 15% mix of J.D.
2. I’m ridiculously independent. I like to depend and do things for myself. Sometimes, that has backfired on me.
3. My favorite show growing up was Double Dare. I loved it so much that I convinced my family to audition with me. I may have cried for several hours, when they didn’t pick us.
4. I’m still afraid of the dark. I carry a flashlight in my car dashboard just in case.
5. Now, here’s my irrational fear. When my little brother was much younger, he used to love this VHS tape series, called Wee Sing. To this day, I still have nightmares about the pink monster-lady, who always wears a purple tutu. I’ll probably have nightmares tonight, after watching this Youtube clip.
6. I could people-watch in an airport for an entire day. There are some crazy people and crazy outfits in airports. Seriously, try it. It’s fun, I swear.
7. I’m the oldest of four children. It definitely shows in my personality.
8. I could live solely off peanut butter and nutella. Add in some bread for a sandwich. It’s even better. Delish.
9. I love grapes, but I can’t stand grape juice. Go figure?
10. I almost died on my 12th birthday. It’s also the reason I’m now terrified of horses. You guys and girls are smart. I’ll let you figure out how that came to be.
11. I don’t drink beer. And, I rarely drink at all. I find I don’t need alcohol to have a good time.
12. Growing up, I was painfully shy and awkward. I’ve tried hard to outgrow my shyness. But, I still am at times.
13. I’ve only gotten up at a ridiculously hour on Black Friday once. I was 9 and I had to have a Furby. My good-natured mom took me to Toys ‘r us at like 5 a.m. to wait in line for 3 hours. I ended up throwing the Furby into the back of my closet that same night, when it wouldn’t shut up. Worst purchasing decision I ever made.
14. I used to collect Beanie Babies. I never played with them. I kept them in mint condition with the tags still on. I thought someday I could go sell them and be rich. There in a box now accruing dust. Still waiting?
15. I have an unhealthy obsession with the Food Network.
16. I was 16 when I got my first job. I worked as a cashier at a Wendys in a mall food court. It taught me how to provide great customer service. That’s a life skill I use every day. It also confirmed my desire to go to college.
17. When I was two, I got my family banned for life from a Chili’s Restaurant. Apparently, the waitresses and the general manager had a small problem with a toddler’s dramatic temper tantrum (i.e. my tantrum).
18. My favorite movie will always be Aladdin. The Blind Side and Remember the Titans are a close second and third.
19. My favorite place on earth is London. I had the opportunity to live there four months while I was in college. I would live there permanently in a heartbeat if given the right opportunity.
20. I don’t want to sound too dramatic. But, Twitter has seriously changed my life, both professionally and personally. There are so many truly great people on Twitter, and it’s pleasure connecting with each and everyone of them.
21. I don’t open up fully to many people, which is why I waited so long to post a list like this on my blog.
22. My mom is my best friend and biggest role model in my life. I know I don’t thank her enough for all the support she has provided me with over the years.

Sometimes A Little “Thank You” Is All You Need

Nov 29th, 2010

by admin.

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“No matter who you are. No matter where you go in life. You’re going to need somebody to STAND BY YOU . . .”

It’s just three simple words. But, those three words have played an integral part in my life. Ben E. King summed it up first when he sang, “Stand by Me!” The Playing For Change crew (seen here) did a beautiful and heartfelt rendition.

I’ve always prided myself on being independent and relying on myself to get what I want. After all, I am the only one who knows exactly what I want and what I need to do to achieve it.

I like to think that my successes are all 100% self-made. I busted my butt and put in the hard work to make it happen. But looking back, I realized that there are very few, if any, things that I conquered completely alone. As fellow blogger, Sam Davidson, points out there are no true solo acts. My family and friends- my support network- all have a little (and sometimes a large) part of my successes. In their own unique ways, they have all contributed and helped to make me the person that I am today.

And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Sadly, I realize I don’t always express my gratitude when I should. In the spirit of the holiday season, I want to urge everyone to give back to those who have helped you this year. For both the small gestures and the big ones. It’s amazing what a small gift or a simple “thank you” can mean. Give back to friends, relatives and the less fortunate this holiday season.

After all, even a simple, heart-felt “Thank You!” can make the biggest difference.