Life Advice

Sometimes A Little “Thank You” Is All You Need

Nov 29th, 2010

“No matter who you are. No matter where you go in life. You’re going to need somebody to STAND BY YOU . . .”

It’s just three simple words. But, those three words have played an integral part in my life. Ben E. King summed it up first when he sang, “Stand by Me!” The Playing For Change crew (seen here) did a beautiful and heartfelt rendition.

I’ve always prided myself on being independent and relying on myself to get what I want. After all, I am the only one who knows exactly what I want and what I need to do to achieve it.

I like to think that my successes are all 100% self-made. I busted my butt and put in the hard work to make it happen. But looking back, I realized that there are very few, if any, things that I conquered completely alone. As fellow blogger, Sam Davidson, points out there are no true solo acts. My family and friends- my support network- all have a little (and sometimes a large) part of my successes. In their own unique ways, they have all contributed and helped to make me the person that I am today.

And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Sadly, I realize I don’t always express my gratitude when I should. In the spirit of the holiday season, I want to urge everyone to give back to those who have helped you this year. For both the small gestures and the big ones. It’s amazing what a small gift or a simple “thank you” can mean. Give back to friends, relatives and the less fortunate this holiday season.

After all, even a simple, heart-felt “Thank You!” can make the biggest difference.

A Response To 20 Truths

Nov 11th, 2010

by admin.

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I was inspired to write this post, after reading Amber Naslund’s (@ambercadabra) latest post where she wrote down 20 “truths.” So, here goes nothing.

1. “Nothing in this life that is worth having comes easy”

2. It’s okay to break the rules every once in awhile. Breaking the rules isn’t always a bad thing. It can kickstart innovative ideas too.

3. It’s okay to have dessert before dinner. Every once in awhile.

4. Binge Drinking is never the right way to escape a bad day. In fact, it will only make your day, and the next day, ten times worse.

5. When you are having a bad day, it’s okay to shed a few tears when you are alone.

6. Change is inevitable. While change can be scary and intimidating, most of the time it’s needed and will end up being a good thing.

7. There are very few, if any, magical fixes in life. If you want something bad enough, you have to put in a lot of time, effort and hard work.

8. Just because you stay late and/or come in early to work doesn’t mean that you get more done and are the star employee. Focus less on time spent in the office and more time spent on quality of the work and the FINAL RESULTS.

9. Stuff is replaceable, family isn’t. Make sure to spend time and talk to your family often.

10. It’s okay to severe ties with friends and even family members, who are negative influences and are always dragging you down. Life is too damn short as it is. Don’t let others drag you down and spoil your chance at being happy.

11. It’s perfectly normal to dream big. But what separates the dreamers from the doers is the willingness to set out and achieve those goals that will make your dream a reality.

12. Your parents will make mistakes. Shockingly or not so shockingly, there will be times where they won’t understand and don’t know all the answers.

13. Karma is a powerful thing. Do the right thing or else it will come back to haunt you later.

14. You can do anything you put your mind. Will Smith says it’s best in The Pursuit of Happiness, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me, Alright! You gotta a dream, you gotta protect it!”

15. The world won’t end if I put my foot down and say “no!” every so often.

16. It’s perfectly okay to put your mental, physical and emotional needs ahead of others. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

17. It’s okay to schedule an hour of “me time” every day.

18. Watching Wedding Crashers (insert your favorite funny movie) may just be the perfect cure after a long, hard, stressful day at the office.

19. The world will not end if I don’t answer my emails, tweets, facebook posts, etc. right away. Many items can and often should wait until the morning.

20. When you are having a bad day or think life couldn’t be any worse, just remember to be thankful for all the things you do have. Learn to love and embrace life, just like this guy. A powerful, must-watch, and inspirational video.

So, you have read my 20 truths. Now, what are yours? Feel free to leave yours in the comments section below.

Permission v. Forgiveness in the Workplace

by admin.

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The big question: Is is better to ask for permission or to ask for forgiveness later? This is probably one of the biggest questions that I struggle with in the workplace and just in life general.

If it’s a project that you know you can handle and DO WELL, and you’re not opposed to not getting extra compensation for it, then go ahead and start that new project. Who knows? You might just impress your boss and coworkers with your initiative and go-get-’em attitude. If they are not impressed, then you can always ask for forgiveness by backing up your reasoning.

However, there are a few caveats for the “Do now! Ask for Forgiveness Later” policy.

Beware of Money, Money, Money!

For one, it’s always best to ask for permission if this project requires spending the company’s dollar. Don’t charge $2,000 to the company credit card for a project that has yet to be approved. That’s just asking for trouble and a pink slip in your next paycheck.

Clear Reasoning

Two, if you use this approach, make sure you have clear, thought out reason(s) for what you are doing. Do your research beforehand and really think things through. Diving into a new project cold turkey isn’t smart and is downright irresponsible.

Think Like Your Boss:

This might be the most important one. Make sure to think like your boss! This should be executed all all stages of the process from the initial research to a presentation afterwards. Pay attention to his/her likes and dislikes. You are much more likely to impress with your initiative on a new project if you use the same techniques that your boss uses.

I’d love to hear your opinions on this. Is it better to ask for permission or seek forgiveness later?

Life Lessons Learned From Watching Legends Of The Hidden Temple

Oct 12th, 2010

by admin.

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Growing up, I was a huge fan of the 1990s Nick shows. You name it, I watched it. Doug, Rugrats, All That, Kenan and Kel, Rocko’s Modern Life, Clarissa Explains it all, Double Dare, etc. But one of my all-time favorite shows was the game show, Legends of the Hidden Temple. Looking back, this EPIC game show taught me several life lessons.

1. The Silver Monkey is Three Pieces!
I can remember watching the kids on the show and thinking they were all really, really dumb! The Silver Monkey was the puzzle they needed to put together to unlock all the doors in Olmec’s Temple to win the big prize. The Silver Monkey was three pieces: A head, a body, and feet. It wasn’t that hard, but yet most of the contestants couldn’t figure it out in the time constraints.

Life Lesson #1: In order to be successful, you need to get through the challenges placed in front of you. The Silver Monkey was the puzzle, or challenge, that stood in the way of many teams’ success. There will always be Silver Monkeys along the way. It’s those that can persevere and solve the puzzles that will be successful.

2. If you were partnered with the fat (and/or stupid) kid, you always lost.
Sure, pick on the fat kid. I’m not trying to be mean. But if you noticed, the team(s) with the overweight kid(s) usually didn’t even get past the first challenge. That first challenge was always to get across the moat. The moat was like the mile run in gym class. No matter how hard the fat kids tried, they always ended up finishing last.

Life Lesson #2: It’s important to be healthy and stay active. I’m not just talking about physical fitness. It’s also important to be mentally tough.The winning teams on the show usually were composed of both athletic and smart individuals. These kids were able to get through both the physical challenges (like the moat) as well as the trivia questions (a.k.a. the steps of knowledge).

3. Let’s face it, it’s all about the big prize!
I tried for years to get on that show with no luck. The main reason I wanted to be on that show was for those prizes. The host Kirk Cameron did a great job of promoting those prizes and making every kid in America jealous of the “lucky contestants.” Those prizes were usually really cool at the time and included moon shoes (Remember those?), cds, walkmans, and of course the coveted grand prize for those who unlocked Olmec’s Temple. That was always a big vacation.

Life Lesson #3: If you put in lots of hard work with maybe a little luck along the way, you too can win the big prize. Successful career men and women don’t magically become successful. They have to put in a lot of time and effort to get that way.

Go Ahead, Jump Out Of Your Comfort Zone!

Oct 7th, 2010

by admin.

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I used to be one of those people, who always had to have a plan and a set structure. I had every aspect of my day, my week, my life planned out in front of me.

As I have gotten older, I realized that I probably missed out on tons of unstructured, spontaneous things because my “plans” blinded me from other great experiences. It’s one of those things I really tried to change about myself. Yes, I said change. Change, it isn’t always bad. In fact in many cases, it’s great and necessary. It’s good to get out of our safe, mundane lives that we blindly set forth on because of our “plans.”

I’ll never forget an expression that my high school chemistry teacher, Mr. Legare, used to tell me. He often talked about “jumping out of our comfort zones.” That really resonated with me. It’s one of the reasons I went to an out-of-state college. Looking back, I couldn’t have chosen a better fit or school (M-I-Z!). It’s the reason why I studied abroad in London. It’s why I decided to explore internships (and now my first real grown up gig) in other cities and places (not in my hometown or Columbia, Missouri). Looking back, all of these experiences are some of my favorites. Had I not jumped out of my comfortable little bubble, I may not have experienced any of these.

As I have entered into the grown-up hustle and bustle of the working world, I am determined to always remember to embrace change and leave my comfort zone every once in a while. I made a promise to myself that I would never let myself “settle” in any situation (whether that be personal or professional). Think about it. The minute you are too settled and too comfortable, that’s when the real trouble sets in.

So, I encourage everyone to get out, leave your comfort zone and embrace change and new opportunities. It doesn’t have to be all big things, like living abroad. Start off small. Evaluate how your life and goals (whether that be personal and professional) are progressing. Then, don’t be afraid to make the necessary changes to make those goals turn into a reality.

Don’t be afraid to go the extra mile!

Sep 26th, 2010

by admin.

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I get it! We all live crazy busy lives. We are guilty of taking shortcuts to save time, money, energy, whatever. Many shortcuts are great. I take them all the time. For instance, there’s the shortcut that saves me 5 minutes of my drive when I’m running late for work.

But, there are other places where shortcuts are less than ideal. Is it really worth saving $100 on airfare, if meant getting in a plane flown by a known terrorist, instead of a licensed pilot? This should be a no-brainer.

Now, this may be an extreme example, but my point is sometimes, it’s worth it to put in the extra effort, time, and money to do things the right and/or safe way. This goes for everything in life. Think of it, like this. You wouldn’t dream of taking reckless shortcuts when you were applying for a job so why do it after you get the job? Many people forget this. If it helps, think of everyday like it’s your “first day of work.”

Going the extra mile and doing things the right (and often times methodical) way can speak volumes about yourself and your character. I promise your hard work, determination and dedication won’t go unnoticed. So next time, you find yourself at a cross routes between taking a shortcut or not. Think about going the extra mile!

Looking Back: One Year Later

Sep 15th, 2010

by admin.

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Over the last year, a lot of things have changed for me. I went from being a college student at Mizzou (Go Tigers!) to being a college graduate, to being unemployed, to job-hunting while having a less-than-stellar part-time job, to starting a full-time gig. And, along the way, I also started this blog.

It’s crazy to think just how much has changed in just one year. I’ve learned more about myself this year than in the prior five years combined. There’s something about graduating from college, and entering a new life stage that makes you realize just how far you’ve come.

For starters, I’ve learned to just be myself! During that crazy, transitional period- known as the job-hunting phrase- it’s so easy to lose the real YOU! All the cover letters become so traditional and formatted that it becomes devoid of your personality. And, more importantly all the quirks that make you unique. I used to want to hide from them, but then I realized I need to make them a part of my personal brand. That’s what sets you apart from the pack.

I’ve also learned to never stop learning. You’re never too old or wise to stop learning new tricks. To quote, Bob Marley- “Times are a’changin’.” Those that position themselves for success are the ones that continue to learn new things and can roll with the punches.

Lastly and most importantly, don’t be afraid of change! Change is inevitable. And, it’s how you roll with those changes that really matters.

I have a small confession. . .

Sep 6th, 2010

by admin.

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For those who don’t know, I love music. That’s an understatement. It’s an obsession. And, one of my all-time favorite songs is Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.

There is so much this song has taught me about LIFE. Sounds crazy, right?

But, the song is all about taking chances, and never giving up when the going gets tough. Life can be tough. There will always be naysayers and people to stand in your way, but just hang in there.

“Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin’ anything to roll the dice just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on”

There are definitely times in my life where I think I’m in a movie. The ups and downs of life are crazy. One day, my life is like a drama. The next it’s like a horror film. Then, there are my favorite days where my life is like a comedy. But, no matter how great or horrible my day was, I know that in the end it’s my life. Unlike a movie, I have CONTROL OVER ALL MY ACTIONS. If I don’t like how “the plot” is unfolding, I can change it. Now, I might not like my options, but I have control of the situation.

As I have gotten older, I realize life is what you make of it. So to quote Journey, “Don’t stop believing!”

Would You Work For Free?

Sep 2nd, 2010

by admin.

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If money weren’t an option and you could do everything you’ve ever wanted to do, but at one cost. You wouldn’t get paid. Would you take it?

Call me crazy, naive, or whatever you want to call me, but I’d say, “Why not?” I’ve always preached about thinking big, dreaming big and following your passion. I know these are idealistic words that Gen Yers, like myself, throw around all the time. But seriously, life is TOO DAMN SHORT to waste your life by settling.

I never want to fall into that pattern of settling just because I’m afraid to make a change. I get it, changes are scary. But, if I’m still unhappy for more than 4-6 months, it is time to make that big change and embark on a new journey.

If you have a dream, go for it and live your life to the fullest. Nobody should ever have to look back at their life and realize, “Gosh, I wish I would have done this, or that?”

All things happen for a reason. Even if one dream or risk doesn’t work out, there’s always next time. That being said, exercise some responsibility when you follow your dreams. Obviously, don’t quit your day job and move to Europe with only $30 to your name. That’s just stupid. Instead spend six months or so, pitching pennies and coming up with a basic plan and then embark on your journey. There’s nothing wrong with waiting a few months or even years to prepare for that next step as long as you eventually go through with it.

So, I encourage everyone to get out there and start following your dreams!

Go Ahead, Dream Big!

Aug 30th, 2010

by admin.

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Now, I have a confession. I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer. I like to dream big and think big.

But, what’s more important than the actual dream is how you “chase the dream.” Achieving your dreams won’t be easy, but doesn’t it feel so gratifying when your dreams turn into a reality. For this, I’m reminded of a quote from a great television show- Scrubs.

“Nothing in this life that is worth having comes easy.” — Dr. Kelso.

It’s often the things you fight for the hardest, that are the most gratifying. Even if you don’t achieve everything you want, you know that you did everything you could and left no cards unturned.

For instance, I’ve turned several of my dreams into reality. But, there’s been quite a few abandoned ones along the way. For example, when I was eight, I wanted to be a professional basketball. I practiced every single day, but the odds weren’t in my favor. Let’s just say- I am vertically challenged. There’s not that many 5 foot, 4 inch basketball superstars out there.

But, I kept trying and then I made new (and more) attainable goals. Instead of playing basketball professionally, I decided I wanted to become a dedicated Miami Heat superfan. And see a game at everything single NBA stadium. I still have a long way to go on this one.

So, I’m going to keep chasing all my dreams. What dreams are you chasing?

I’ll leave you with one of my all-time favorite songs.